Alright, so I'm going to make a new OC called Seth.
Seth will basically be an alternative version of me that expresses all of their emotions and their true self, but they won't look anything like me.
My true unhidden self, which will be Seth, is very depressed, very stressed, very complain-y, very suicidal at times, has a lot of gender dysphoria and is mostly male but a little female
, very easily upset, very easily angered, always feels "on edge" like I'm about to hit someone with a desk, and attached to things or a person very strongly. Also, the real me wants a nose piercing- just a tiny little dot, not a ring.
Seth will have a masculine appearance, but their sex may or may not be male. I'm not sure yet. I will probably make their sex female
and have them bind with a binder and pack with a sock, because that's also part of what my true self wants to do, and my true self is unsure about having sex replacement surgery
in the future
. Then again, my true self may have been born male and just acted a little feminine. Therefore, I am unsure of what sex I will make them. Making their sex female will leave room for me to draw them when I'm upset about not having a binder. Also, if I made their sex male, they'd probably be less dramatically upset anyway, and half of the character would be gone.
I may do something extra like giving them bending powers- maybe water
bending. Even though I like fire, I have always been obsessed with looking at water and playing
with water, and it's apparently my birth
element. I learned that really liking slow moving water is an ASD thing, so that could be why I've always liked it so much. If I gave them water bending, it'd really be just something for interesting roleplay.
I'm not sure if Seth's pronouns will be they/them or he/him, because quite frankly, I'm not sure which ones I really want for myself. Since my gender is fluid, it changes around between neutral and male, so I guess
it would be best if I used they/them, even though he/him would also feel right. Any pronouns that aren't she/her would be good really. It's just that if I used he/him, I feel like people wouldn't take me seriously because of the times I act less male. This is why I DO want a physical transition, in addition to other reasons, but I can't make up my mind because of how fluid my gender is and hormones messing up my head. That's a different story though.
I'm going to make a character profile for Seth probably today. Tell me what you think of what I said here though. I'd be happy to have any comments, even if it's just to know you read this.